Friday, February 24, 2006


Ok, Lori has really inspired me to write what I'm about to write.

Throughout my day of chasing my little one, cleaning the house, cooking, laundry, and running errands, I have an endless amount of time to think about things. I am always pondering something I've heard either on TV, from someone in the store or something I've read online. I always have opinions, ideas and feelings but I have no outlet to just discuss these things. I also hesitate to share my deeper thoughts and my feelings, not just on my blog, but really with anyone besides my hubby. For several reasons. First and foremost I guess I get embarrassed. I'm not sure of what. I feel that many times I'm missing something. There is just something I don't get and when someone points it out I feel so silly for "contributing" my 2 cents. I guess I'm kind of nervous to stir things up too. I don't want to offend anyone, ya know? I get nervous (probably not the right word) that someone from another viewpoint will have more knowledge and I won't be able to adequately defend my viewpoint.

It's actually taken a lot just for me to post this.

I've been doing a LOT of thinking and "inventory" of my life and who I am lately. I was raised in a Christian home and grew up in the church. I am sure of my salvation through Jesus Christ and I love Him but I feel like I have just a superficial relationship. Just the bare minimum. I don't prioritize my prayer time and quiet time. I haven't had a prayer time or quiet time..ever really. I mean, here and there but no consistency (story of my life). I want more. I am going to our Women's Bible Study every Tuesday morning now. I am actually participating instead of just sitting back and listening. I am trying to grow and learn. I am trying to sit down every day and do the "homework" and actually get something out of it, not just answer the questions.

SO....I'm trying to go deeper. I, BY NO MEANS, am as eloquent as Lori. But she has inspired me to discuss my thoughts that are deeper and to not be afraid to open myself up a little bit.

I don't know what I'm saying exactly. I'm trying to go outside of my safe box that I've come to treasure and take a step toward growing both intellectually and spiritually. Don't expect anything big! And please feel free to comment and correct me and disagree with me, that is all part of growth.

Ok...I'm going to publish this now....I think.

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